two chemists walk into a bar. they exchange glances and right away the bartender knows where this is going. one chemist clears his throat and begins to order a “glass of h2o” while the other sits quietly, almost trembling with anticipation. the first chemist completes his order and the second opens his mouth to hit the h2o2 punchline, but before he can, his head explodes in a mass of red.
the first chemist blinks with surprise as blood, brain and skull fragments splatter all over his pristine white coat and the counter. after a stunned moment of silence, a woman screams and all hell breaks loose. the patrons begin knocking one another in a mad dash to the door as the chemists body slumps off the stool and slides to the floor. the first chemist is still too stunned to speak.
on the roof of the building across the street, the sniper racks the bolt back and sends the spent case flying as another one takes its place. exhaling, he steadies the crosshairs directly on the head of the only chemist still breathing. the bar is empty now, save for the bartender who’s been watching the scene without a word.
with wide eyes, the chemist raises his head to face the man behind the counter, only to find him staring intently at the window. he too looks behind him to the panes of glass, only to squint as the laser flits across his eyes.
"it’s nothing personal," says the bartender.
the chemist whirls around just in time to see the him dip his head in a curt nod. across the street, the sniper recognizes the signal and pulls the trigger without a moments hesitation, watching dark red fill his scope for the second time that day. raising his head, he pushes himself out of prone and stretches until he feels his phone vibrate. pulling it out of his pocket, he flips it open.
"what do you want me to do with them?"
he walks to the edge and looks down at the broken window of the bar below.
starmander, starmeleon and starizard
I did a thing.
The malicious, misogynistic website called Return of Kings is known for writing articles advising western men to seek Asian women for reasons that are racist, and sexist. A lot of these western men claim they’re “emasculated by western women/feminism” and the only way to restore their masculinity is by having sex, dating, marrying and/or dominating a “submissive” Asian woman. This was brilliantly explained in Sunny Woan’s White Sexual Imperialism: A Theory of Asian Feminist Jurisprudence (I advise everyone to read it).
Anyway, here are their reasons why western men should seek Asian women:
Asian women have held close all the family values passed on from their mothers and grandmothers before them. Values that tell women to respect their man and be submissive to them. Being feminine is an ancestral cultural characteristic that most Asian women have, one that most western women wrongly interpret as slavery. Asian women have learned to talk softly to their husbands and be submissive to them; they actually HEAR what you have to say, not just pretend and then do what they want.
2. Traditional values
You can expect to eat a meal from the hands of your lovely Asian lady every single day, even if she also has a full-time job and works hard at it. Your house will be spotlessly clean and well-taken care of. Try asking a western woman to cook for you on a daily basis and you’ll probably end up with a bump on your head from the flying ashtray, or with a dreadful sex-starvation week!
3. They willingly play the “wife” role
Asian women are the pillars of the family, managing and organizing the household perfectly, but are smart enough to let you lead and have the reigns of the family. They take care of their children and love helping their husbands any way they can. They do the same for their partners, so even if you have an Asian woman as a girlfriend, you can still taste a slice of heaven in your everyday life. Generally speaking, an Asian woman has been taught she needs to make her husband happy and proud, with his relatives and friends, to have her as his wife, so she does her best to not let you down.
Most Asian women are not only family-oriented and respectful towards others. They are also caring and love themselves, too. They will make sacrifices to have a good shape (and maintain it no matter what) and please their man with it. As for their beauty, it seems that western men are particularly attracted by their slender figures (as opposed to the overweight body shapes of the west), shiny black hair, and appealing eyes.
5. Financially responsible
They are usually great money handlers, which is a huge plus when looking for a woman to start a family with. Your Asian wife will ask you each and every time she wants to spend shared money on the house. Try asking an American or European woman to do the same—Her voice will rise to the stratosphere if you try to reign in her shopping.
6. They behave
Cheating is not an option for an Asian woman. Marriage is too sacred to them to dishonor it like that.
7. They never refuse to have sex
They never give the cold shoulder to their feeling-horny hubbies. They will still make love with you, even if they are not in the greatest mood for 1000+1 Arabian nights.
8. They adapt quickly
They can act like a Western lady in particular ways without losing their subservient nature.
9. They avoid direct confrontations
They avoid conflicts and arguments with their other half and pursue a harmonious relationship, first and foremost.
He’s also a legitimate, actual rapist. He’s banned from travelling to some European countries, particularly Iceland, because he’s wanted in those countries on rape charges.
I didn’t know Roosh was a rapist and was banned in several European countries. He’s the epitome of a misogynistic pig, this asshole is known for writing books that promote sex tourism. Ex. Bang Colombia: Textbook On How To Sleep With Colombian Women, Bang Iceland: How To Sleep With Icelandic Women In Iceland, Roosh’s Brazil Compendium: Pickup Tips, City Guides, And Stories. I’m glad that they banned his ass.
Dascha Polanco attends Us Weekly’s Most Stylish New Yorkers of 2014 at Diamond Horseshoe at the Paramount Hotel on September 10, 2014
i just came
She’s killing me.
"You just let the machines get on with the adding up," warned Majikthise, "and we’ll take care of the eternal verities, thank you very much. You want to check your legal position, you do, mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate Truth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any bloody machine goes and actually finds it and we’re straight out of a job, aren’t we? I mean, what’s the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives you his bleeding phone number the next morning?"
"That’s right," shouted Vroomfondel, "we demand a rigidly defined area of doubt and uncertainty!"
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Haha this cracks me up. Leave it to philosophers to demand the shut down if an all knowing machine so they can continue to ponder their existence.(via hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy)
I have the comfiest wings ever today 👌
Btw, this was the photo that got removed from instagram because ‘I look like I have an eating disorder’. However, the photo I posted of the exact same stomach hours earlier wasn’t removed. Same day, same torso, different pictures, but I guess this one was just TOO MUCH lol
I mean if you just look at the health of your hair and skin, and how your arms have muscle on them, you can tell your body is happy. Ignorance is bliss I guess.